Havelock, Lord Vetinari


Havelock Vetinari is the current Patrician of Ankh-Morpork. He has been the supreme ruler for some years and is the successor of Mad Lord Snapcase. The Assassins’ Guild have an $1,000,000 fee for his inhumation, though rumour says that they are not accepting contracts on him at present. As a former Assassin and member of the Assassin Guild himself, he is probably just too difficult to kill. However, his greatest defence against would-be plotters is that he carefully sees to it that a reality with him as Patrician is slightly better than one without him.

It was his discovery that people only really want stability and that tomorrow should pretty much resemble today, and this has been his greatest contribution to Ankh-Morpork. Impressively, he manages to keep this up even while he drags Ankh-Morpork, sometimes kicking and screaming, into the future. He seems to have no vices whatsoever, since some guild or other would otherwise undoubtedly have made use of them by now. Admittedly, Vetinari did ban street theatre and tends to hang mime artists upside down in a scorpion pit opposite a sign reading “Learn The Words,” but this is generally taken by the population as simply an amusing character trait. Anyway, in Ankh-Morpork people think that strolling players are no better than criminals, and mimes are just plain freaky.

Lord Vetinari enjoys a variety of games and puzzles (both metaphoric and literal); he faithfully completes the daily crossword in the Ankh-Morpork Times and is a master at Stealth Chess. He is also an expert Thud player, adept at either the Trolls or Dwarfs side of the board. For years, he has carried on a long-distance game with Lady Margolotta of Ɯberwald.


Havelock, Lord Vetinari

The Uberwald Incident bunnibeware